Social Media, the devil?

Social Media.

Most of us live and breathe and depend our daily lives on social media. For myself, I wake up and check it, go through out my days and check it, as I am doing activities, I am thinking of what picture can I take to post to social media, I end my days with social media.

WHOA, I’m pathetic, but MOST are all guilty of this.

I use to say that facebook is the anti-christ LOL. Think about it…people go on there and fake their life, lie about their life, puff their life up, share their ego, gossip about other people’s lives, try to brag about their life, people are tempted to re-connect with old flames or look at other people’s scandalous photos causing many affairs from it, many fights in relationships on “why did you like her picture”?, why are you friends with that person you once dated? I personally have compared myself to other people’s lives and other women. I have found myself angry when I find annoying people I don’t like hanging with my friends or seeing what they are doing. All kinds of sins wrapped up into this social media site. I was in Utah recently visiting my family and ran into an old high school friend I played basketball with back in the day and she told us after 36 years, her mother left her father because she was having an affair with an old fling and it started from them reconnecting on facebook and they started messaging each other. OUCH. Entire family broken.

Now some good has come from it…many people’s businesses have thrived off it, it gives you a chance to reconnect with old friends and for me who has lived away from my hometown and moved away from friends are have had friends move away, it keeps me up to date on their lives.

But what happened to giving your friends a call? Mailing your friends cards, news articles, or just simple emailing?

My brother who passed away almost 4 years ago recommended I go off social media, and I did twice. It was amazing. It opened up this space that I didn’t know existed. I had random friends reach out asking if I deleted my social media. A lot of my friends depended our friendship on my status’s and pictures too vs. picking up the phone and calling me. I had so much time and space to focus on the PRESENT. To not be distracted by seeing what other people are doing.

So starting tomorrow, I am going off it again for 6 weeks. And I’m going to put that time I spend every single day into prayer for myself, and for my fiance and family. I’m going to try and blog every day. I’m going to start writing my book. And I’m hoping that with the new space and time in my life, that I will find more direction on my next chapter since I lost my job.

My sister, sister in law, and niece are all inspired by me doing this too. They have all said they want to do this but “it’s SO HARD”. It’s sad, but true. Most of us know it’s a distraction, but yet can’t stop. That’s called addiction.

I’m excited for this 6 week breakup.

XO,

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Love.

Today I am grateful for love.

Love from my family who has no other choice but to love me. Love from my friends, who love me and somehow find me funny ha! And love from my fiance…

and boy does he love me. I always said that guys are naturally assholes, and girls are naturally crazy. Am I right? I used to make fun of all “those” other crazy girls until I realized being in love, and caring for someone this much, I am also crazy lol. The key is finding someone that deals with those moments of crazy and those moments of being an asshole. It doesn’t mean I am ACTUALLY crazy and that men are ACTUALLY assholes (although there are some real crazies and real assholes)…but what it means is we all have these ‘moments’.

I found someone that loves me through all these crazy moments. There is a quote, and I truly hate quotes lol…but its one that stuck with me. “If you can’t love me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my best”. I think it’s by Marilyn Monroe. But how true is that? I have SO much to offer a partner, I am confident in that, but if my partner can’t accept my worst too, then he doesn’t deserve the best I have to offer.

My fiance’. He’s kind. He’s patient. He’s caring. He’s loyal. He’s committed. He’s all in. He’s faithful. He’s a family man. He adores me. He loves me. He deals with me. He compliments me. He takes care of me. He protects me. He safeguards me. He leads me. He makes me smile. He brings me laughter. He accepts me ‘baggage’. He finds my ‘scars’ beautiful. My flaws, he calls perfect. My insecurities, him not even knowing what they are, he compliments and sees nothing but beauty. His desire to want this is rare. His willingness to do whatever it takes to make this work is like no other.

I prayed for a man like him. Now it’s my job to love him back and accept this love. Because I deserve it.

“Love suffers long and is kind. Love does not envy. Love does not parade itself, it is not puffed up. Does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil, does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.” – I Corinthians 13:4-8

XO,

Fiance and I on Valentine’s day in Seattle in the rain. OOPS, forgot we moved to Seattle and should carry around an umbrella or jacket with a hood. Lesson learned ha!

Change.

March 30th, 2017: I flew home from Minneapolis to Seattle after closing on my biggest account of my heightened career as a Vice President of National Accounts for a private equity firm out of NYC.

March 31st, 2017: I got a text message from my boss to call him only to find out that I was getting laid off. He was in tears telling me that he has never had to let someone go for doing too good of a job. Our firm had raised too much money, that there wasn’t enough money to deploy therefore hurting shareholder’s return.

May 3rd, 2017: I sit here in a hotel in Portland, Oregon where my fiance is working and I’m tagging along on his trip while he conducts multiple meetings. I sit here unemployed.

Change. I’ve lost a job before, been fired or left on my own good will. This one felt different. I have loved every minute about my dream job. Traveled the country, met amazing people, explored amazing cities, ate amazing food and had the flexibility to create my own schedule and do what I want, when I want. Not to mention, I made good money doing what I loved.

I am grateful for the experience I was given. Especially during a time I was single. But my life is different now. I got engaged, and I’m planning a wedding and want a healthy happy relationship, one where I am not traveling where I can focus on me, my relationship and our future family. So in essence, I am somewhat relieved this happened and I feel I can walk away with my head held high.

I have decided to leave the industry. It’s time to pursue something different. The crazy thing about change is we all avoid it. THE FEAR of CHANGE is BIGGER than the FEAR of STAYING the SAME. Why?

Because we are all so scared. Even if we don’t know it. I have wanted to write a book for 5 or 6 years, well then why the hell haven’t I? In the back of my head, uh, Alisha, what credibility do you have to write a book? You life isn’t perfect, and you have failed many times so what the hell are you going to write about? Only credit worthy people write books is what was in the back of my head not even knowing it was.

Like WHAAAAT? Do you really think that every guy that was ever a written author had major credibility? Sure some, but far from all.

If everyone could get rid of that fear. Fear of failure, fear of what other people will think, I really believe people would pursue things more often. And pursue change as most of the people that “stay the same” probably aren’t as happy as they know they could be.

So today I write to push myself that change is ok. And it’s time to make a change. It’s time to just say screw it, and roll with it, what do I have to lose?

In the last year, I have had major change. I got engaged, moved across the country and lost my job and lost 3 of my best friends. 1 to death, and 2 for reasons I will share in another post….OR in my new book I’m going to write all about friendship 🙂